Friday, May 28, 2010

Thank you men of Chicago!!

(I wish I had pictures to post but that would have been a bit creepy....)

I'd like to thank all of you men in chicago for making my walk in from the train a glorious one. Not only is the weather fantastic but all of you were as well.....beginning with the guy, with the very well formed worked out butt walking in front of me as I left the train station. Oh thank you kind sir for all the squats you have no doubt done to give me that vision of loveliness....then all the other well shaped men...the older man in the orangey shirt with the khaki pants, very cool sunglasses....the man who looked like he threw 50 pound weights by the look of his arms bulging through his business shirt and the fine italian leather shoes....Much older guy collecting for the veterans on Michigan avenue, clean, crisp, dishy!!! Oh my!!! There are so many others and gentlemen whose eyes I caught...thank you for smiling back. I swear to god it wasthisclose to making out one of you as we passed. IS going to be a great weekend!!!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Yep....Yep I am

So we are playing for the stanley cup. I am still all hoosly over that fact. Seems very chicago our team. Yes yes I know we are the CHICAGO blackhawks, but they seem to embody the city. One big bruiser guy, a couple of young kids keeping their heads down and working hard, a quiet stoic guy from another country impressing the city and a guy with a funny porn mustache. Ah yes, that truly is chicago!

So I'm playing around with all sorts of new stuff and have been keeping my head down for most part this morning. I picked my head up and looked to my right and laughed. I have a poster of the first 10 doctors (doctors??? You have the nerve to say "what doctors??"). Dr. Who. I have this poster from the Dr Who magazine (yes, yes, I know, I am, I know) and I affixed it to my wall. I have david tennant quizically looking at me all day. I think it is because he is trying to figure out how to get into my time and relative dimension in space............


Sunday, May 23, 2010

Picture me rollin'

The title is for no other reason than the fact that I have that Tupac song running through my head. Good song as is any that has the line "move smooth as a motherfucker, me and my 9".....

So its sunday. Game 4 of the hawks shark series. Being a true Chicagoan I speak not of it. I simply say Go Hawks and that I can't wait for the game to start. That is it. Nuff said. No mo, no less. Cause I move smooth as a mother fucker.

Dead sexy gorgeous out there. My yard is amazing. I am having a happy suburbanite moment. My coffee, my toast, my balcony and my green green grass of home. Gonna be a hot one but right now sitting out there in my tshirt and little else, it is perfect weather. Cause I move smooth as a motherfucker I guess.

So this morning it seems like the day is full of possibilities. Know for sure I'll be screaming my lungs out during the game with some fun folk and maybe meet some other fun folk. Not sure what will happen after the game but I'm sure I'll be as smooth as a mother fucker....if I could just figure out what that means....

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The best part of saturday

The picture reminds me of the best part of saturday........the morning/early afternoon. Usually I am lucky enough to be able to linger in bed a little bit with my best bed companion flicka....before you go THERE your dirty sods, flicka is the name of my trusty laptop. (And those of you reading this thinking "who/what is flicka....good lord" altho I googled it and apparently they made a movie of that name in 2006. ) Then after coffee, really good toast (again, wild woman) I start the "punish the body". Do the floor exercises, the weights, then off for a run in the neighborhood. My run reminds me why I really enjoy this neighborhood. Great mix of ethnicities, great mix of out playing, people doing yard work, men taking a break, beers in hand watching tv that is situated in their garage. Women chatting in the driveways, youngish men driving cars down the main street shouting things about my butt(Seriously??? Seriously??? I'm working here! but THANK YOU)..........So green, so suburban, so comforting. Take that and the blasting through my ipod (which now mysteriously works again I think it wants round to of the humiliation game, well you shall not be rewarded ipod!) of The English!
(If you look real hard you can see the tweetie blanket that we got ali in tijuana about 15 years ago. I am truly the hand me down to queen).

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Blood Bath

Delightful walk into the city today. Birds chirping, spring in the air and my step. Walk to the farmers market on the way to the office and am assaulted by a bevy of baked goods...who can resist (not these hips!). However.........the fountain that spurts water up in the center of the plaza is spurting red water! It looks like blood!! Someone tells me it is in honor of the Hockey Playoffs....Did the hawks kill some sharks and dump their bodies in the fountain? (Very chicagolike) You get the feeling if you look long enough body parts will float to the top. Is this a sign of what the hawks will do to the sharks this weekend ?(See pic earlier in blog).

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Obsessive Love

You know who you taunt me with your sashaying down wacker. Your perky spiky hair, talking on the phone, daring me to look in your direction. I want you to dress me... I want to drink cosmos with you while watching endless hour of sex in the city (and I hate that show). I want to have late night phone calls in which we giggle and talk about boys....ohhhhhhh cutest most adorable gay man on earth....why must you be so cruel????

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Monday, May 17, 2010

Just saying......

Good job Niemi! You did us proud in game 1 boys!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

No...seriously...they're real... of those days in which you get a wake up call that yes, you are that damn old. I enjoy being my age, truly, but sometimes........ I was doing laundry and since I'm schluberella in attire today I do not have a bra on. I am a chipper bouncy little thing so when I go down the stairs to move the laundry around I usually do it with a jaunty step. I go down the stairs and hear a definite slapping sound.....the sound of my breasts slapping against my body. Fascinating. Horrifying...but.......sort of made me feel good for a moment cause who knew I was so voluptuous?? Yea me!!!!! (Sadly after thinking about it, I think it simply means gravity is stretching them into sock puppets)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Saturday musings...


I am not sure why this made me laugh. Lion brand yarn sends me weekly emails...(Yea, I like to knit, shut the hell up!!). Today the subject line was "Washcloth of the day!". Hmmm... woo hoo!!!!

Got B's diploma, cum laude, in the mail. Wow. He did all the work but I feel all the pride! Wish my mom were still here. I would have gone over there, she would have clapped her hands together and done her "ooohhh" noise. Then we would get something that we could "make a meal out of". (inside I'm not explaining)

Laughed so hard last night that my nose ran. Dead sexy...

Have one of those glorious saturdays where I really don't have to do anything or go anywhere at any certain time. Destined to spend a lot of time right here in my bed with my laptop and my coffee. Bad tv, some gooey cake, oooohhh...heaven.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

You can't make this stuff up

So my beloved iPod is dying. This is my constant companion, my friend, my protector from the insepid chattering conversation on the train. It is like sitting at the bed side of someone dying watching the life slowly ebb away (which sadly I have done...whoops, sorry mom, just equated you with an iPod and on mothers day!). The problem? This is it simply - my hole is too big. Serious. My freakin hole is too big. Oh, I know, you say "well get a bigger male adapter". Sorry sunshine, no can do as they make the male ends of the headphones in one size only....and it is too small for my hole. I think after constant use, dropping it and pulling out quickly, my hole has gotten damaged. Sigh. So on to the story.........

It is gorgeous out so I went for a run. Have on my target jogging shorts and am enjoying the beautiful iPod ceases to exist. Well it is existing but no noise is coming out. No sound, no music, no Hansens (I think most of you remember THAT story)..... continuing to wear this on your ears and hold it is about the same as wearing a dead animal on your head. So I stop, wrap it up and do the only sensible thing....I put it in the waistband of my jogging shorts. It seems fairly secure and I run. A few moments in the iPod dislodges itself and starts to head south and is floating around the panty portion of these jogging shorts. I stop so that I can stick my hand into my pants and retrieve it when I am accosted by my new neighbors on a leisurely sunday walk........sadly, when I stop the iPod rests itself against my pubic bone and points itself a, um, hardon. I am not sure what to do....should I stick my hand down my pants causing my neighbors to wonder what in the heck type of pervert do they live by or hope they don't notice this protrusion from my nether region.......well I do the next logical thing...I cross my legs....which makes it point out even further....they hastily turn and walk away muttering to each other. I shove my hand down my pants and pull out the offending iPod. The iPod that has been such a faithful companion and now, in its final moments betrays me! My neighbors now believe they live next to a transvestite, transexual, transwhatever.......I have always wanted to start a band called grannies and trannies...I just used to think I'd be the granny!!!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Cutest most adorable gay man on earth

I walk from the train into the city to my job every morning and then back to the train again at nite. In my journeys I pass many people, a lot of whom I now recognize. It is like the people on the train. Very familiar yet very much anonymous. Whenever I have seen these people at places other than the train or in the city on the street there is at once a nagging thought in the back of my head (where do I know them from?) followed up by the uncertainty of what the etiquette is. Do I acknowledge them? I mean I know them but I don't know them. There have been a couple of ocassions that you spot one of your fellow commuters back in the burbs at the same time they spot you and there is a rush of smile, intake of breath and an Aha! Normally you continue on your path and usually tell the person you are with "they are on my train!". There are times however that I feel compelled to accost people because I find them so interesting or adorable....hence my current dilemma with my cutest most adorable gay man on earth. I pass him almost every morning and every evening on wacker. Sometimes on Lake. He is perfectly coiffed, coordinated and pressed. He has a jaunty, saucy, fluid way of walking with a purposeful look on his face. I have played in my head the conversation a million times.."Hello!! I just wanted to say I find you so well put together and stylish!" "Oh, what a dear you are!" or perhaps "tsk, stalker!". It makes my morning to see him walking towards me. It completes my work day when I am walking to the train and he passes me going home. I have an entire fantasy world (he has a loving boyfriend, crazy hag girlfriends, is a gourmet cook with an extensive wine collection) in which he lives. It is almost one of those scary situation in which you hope the reality meets the fantasy but sadly, rarely does. Well, I guess for now my cutest most adorable gay man on earth, you are safe from my clutches.