Where my moisture at???

I woke up this morning and groggily went into the bathroom to take care of my morning needs. I happened to glance into the mirror over the basin and got very nervous as some old hag was apparently standing in front of me! A very slim old hag as I was pressed up against the sink (or maybe it is just my new bloated belly full of drink and cookies). There was something oddly familiar about the face so I gathered all my bravery and looked again. OH...MY.... GOD...It is me, during the night some alien creature ala dr who took my moisture!!! My face is dry, wrinkly and haglike!! Then it dawned on me. My moisture is here, just re-assigned. My fingers are like little sausages as is my belly (no, my belly is like a medicine ball, solid but capable of movement), and my calves.... My solution....I am going to stand on my head in the hopes that the moisture goes back to whence it came.

Happy freakin new year in deed. Motherf'ers.

delicious but challenging

so I have been experimenting with pumpkin cookies and have one that I think is a delicious one. It tastes really good.....but......it is the same color as baby poop. Or that one type of baby poop.

Just saying...

zoom zoom zooma zoom

I feel like I am in one of those movies where the main character is suspended in slow mo while the rest of the world whizzes by her/him/it/whatever. Its almost like I'm sitting on a bench with a box of chocolates on my lap (you never know what you're gonna get..) while the hustle and bustle pass me by.

What a weird, but not totally unpleasant feeling. Huh. I just wish I did have the box of chocolates tho....might help make the time more pleasant. zoom.

turkey trots

I just felt like titling this turkey trots for no reason other than it cracks me up. Well its been a very odd couple of months since my mean blog about the binnys. My mom died. Yep. Gone, ceasing to exist, left the building, er, planet, er whatever. Gone on to a better place (tired of that one). There is this big empty spot where there used to be someone I needed to take care of and get guilt from. Get angry with and feel bad for. Feel like I had something to prove to and beg for love from. Now I clean. And cook. And make her recipes and use her dishes and plates and stuff. I'm bound and determined to finish all or 95% completed craft projects and even the ones that are just started. I can't let go of her scarves. She hasn't worn a scarf since 1968 but I still cannot let go of them. Or her cool 40s costume jewelery, or my pursuit of the perfect family meal.

It is going to take some getting used to this not having parents. It is going to take some getting used to that I am now the older generation. Reminds me.....I have to call Michael so he can do my roots!

Ugly People

***WARNING*****THIS IS AN EXTREMELY MEAN BLOG*****

SO I'm at the binny's today. Nevermind why. I mean why does anyone go to binnys? To buy alcohol. Yea you can say it is for a party, or because you are having a special dinner but you are really going to binny's cause you want to drink. Cheaply.

I'm in need of some wine, red wine (and by the freaking way....you gotta raise the cycles gladiator by a dollar cause the tax when up??? 13cents by my recogning and you gotta raise it a dollar???? damn bin! damn!). ANYHOW....I walk into my haven of happiness and head straight towards the cheap red wine section. (Oh by the way, cycles gladiator has the absolute best label. It is an old french (I think) bike ad.....I want a big print of this someday). STOP DISTRACTING ME!!! So's (totally lala-ism) I walk into binnys and look around and I kid you not the store was filled with UGLY POLYESTER WEARING People. It was like a "i'm okay, YOU'RE okay" convention was in town. The Circus of the Scars was in town. The Wrung and the Restless. America's got ugly. My god. It was like there was an ad in the local paper that said "money off if you are lacking in looks at 5:00 on Wednesday!!". Which all....made....me...nervous.............. What if they were looking at me and thinking the same thing????? NO WONDER WE ALL NEED TO DRINK!!!!

Workin' in the ciiitay!

So it is a fabulous gorgeous day and I woke up feeling less than fabulous and gorgeous. I decided to take the later train so that I could clear my head, drink an extra cup of coffee and minimize the crankiness that normally comes upon me when I feel like this. Train ride was normal and on time (it usually is no matter what people tell you and luckily the suburban commuter line does not have alternating smells of lysol and urine like its city counterpart). I am still regretting not being at home and rapidly sending/answering emails on my blackberry. I mean, c'mon....no one is gonna die if I don't see my email for another 30 minutes. I guess it makes me feel important tho....

Get off the train really sluggishly, trying to find a good reason to take the bus instead of my mile walk to the office. And then fortunes are reversed! The angels sing!!! Life begins anew!!! I step out into the gloriousness that is Chicago in the fall! A warm fall. Ohhellsamighty. Gorgeous!! Air is clean (when I first moved from Los Angeles I wondered how people actually breath air they don't see) the sun is shining, it is a nice warm breezy day. My walk is mainly along the chicago river. The boats are out, the birds are flying, people are smiling. I could not help but feel a spring in my step and the schmaltzy gimmacky song in my heart. Life is truly good.

The good kinda neighborhood

Its amazing what makes a neighborhood. I know a lot of people think it is one of those big houses, or living in that "elite" suburb, but for me what makes a neighborhood is the amount of kids. When we moved here from California there was a very good mix of little to big kids. There were some teenagers who would drive you mad with their music, their wheels spinning and their cocky defiant ways. Having little kids it was great to have the toddlers to preteens who ran up and down the street from school time to dusk and during the summer and on weekends from the morning till the last little bit of light (and then beyond some days). The noise, the bikes on the lawns, the kiddy litter (ha, I so funny!), it was a wonderful attack on your sights. Loud, annoying, joyful and life affirming. My kids are grown, and off to college but luckily the neighborhood has kept changing and morphing. Once again there are those sullen smartass teens and once again the toddlers to preteens taking over the neighborhood. The best sight to see is the little girl next door. They moved in this past year and she has been hesitant to ride her bike up our driveway. Somehow we have gone from having all the kids over in our yard (to the chagrin of our neighbors) to being those old folks who have no kids and might be protective of their very uneven broken up concrete driveway. I met her dad when I was loading up some furniture to take to the city college kid and told him we were moving stuff for our son and how nice it was to see children in the yard. He told me of his daughters fear. I told him of my lack of giving a rats about our driveway. Still it has taken her some time to drive up the perhaps forbidden driveway. Just now I looked out the window and have been watching her drive up and down the street with a twirl up the driveway. Sigh...now only if I could get her to throw some balls, dolls and fruit snack wrappers on my lawn......

ooompah!!

Today in our village they had a german fest on the village green. I picked up val and took her to the rousing rollicking good time it was. Johnny whatshisname's band was there. We had to point, we had to move side to side, we had to throw our hands in the air and yell things. Pretty fun. There was beer too and another couple of beers and I would be throwing more than just my hands in the air. As you can see by the picture, many who attended (actually most...) received one of the biggest workouts of the month. Ooompah!!!!

The entire time I was at the fest my good friend, Micky McMickster sent me email updates from the badger game. Yeehawwww goooooo badgers! What fun to sway side to side, throw my hands in the air like I don't care AND get badger up dates. Makes a girl say "wooo-et woo-et!" more times than once....

And speaking of sports, man, who knew michael jordan was such a jerkoff? Just saying....

Well here it is another hairless weekend and my saturday has contained a run to the bank, a visit with the little kiddos bffs mom, the first half of the badger game via that lovely and informative network espn and the german fest. Oh, if I add in the walgreens run, the osco run and the run from my mom's apartment to the garbage chute, I think a very busy, educational, and entertaining day all the way around.

Roll out the barrel!!!! OOOMPAH!

Week 2

So many mixed emotions about this phase of my life. My kids are gone. Well off to college and it definitely feels very strange. I have a strong urge to call the police each night when I return home to report the very odd burglars that come into my house. "Hoffman Estates PD" "Yes, I'd like to report a break in" "A break in?" "yes, someone keeps breaking into my house" "This has happened more than once?" "Yes, I think everyday" "Everyday?" "yes and the weird thing is that it is like what happened 3 years ago" "Tell me more ma'am" "Someone comes into my house everyday and removes the high school papers, notebooks and volleyball crap! - It started happening about 2 weeks ago! The funny thing is 3 years ago a similar thing happened with all the basketball crap in the house!" "Ma'am we'll send an office over right away!" (no doubt to take me away to a "facility".

Here are things I didn't know could happen (or didn't remember about from long ago..)...

a. when you return home the house looks EXACTLY like it did when you left it.
b. it is very hard to get a full load of whites in one week
c. no sock surprises (this is when you bend down to pick up something that rolled under the couch and then SURPRISE a dirty sock is there)
d. there are always bananas
e. the hairspray is in my bathroom.....always
f. same thing with my tweezers!
g. the phone no longer rings after 10!

I still have my kiddo contacts tho......going to see the Schaumburg Saxons play football tonite (why yes, they ARE my alma mater and my children's archrival!) at their home field as the notorious E.D.D. , Okay Eddy Ali's bf is on the team. I'm going to annoyingly text Ali nonstop throughout the entire game and then abruptly stop before I give the final score!! mwaaaaaa that'll teach her to go to college and leave me on my own...mwaaaaaaaaaaa (Sad, I actually thought i had a life!!